- Kei and the girl are running. They are 2D. The backgrounds are 3D. The foreground and background do not mesh at all. It looks like something out of the old 1990s Fantastic Four movie.
- Kei and the girl are still running.
Now, the Big Onion hits a car, only the people can’t see him. Or Kei and Boobs McGhee. Because they’re not only dead… They are invisible.
What the fuck? What does Tim have me reviewing?
- The Onion smashes the car, and we’re treated to more running….
- And more running….
- Ooh. And a jump.
- Kei and the girl land. So does Big Onion, who will heretofor be called B.O.
- Look, here comes Katou. He tries to hold off B.O. so his buddy can run away. Too bad his buddy is a retard.
- And B.O. slices up Katou.
- Look. Here comes Goro, with his rope gun, for lack of a better word.
Who is Goro? He was around before, but he popped up and left, so I didn’t mention him.
Goro offers to let Kei kill B.O., since B.O. slashed up Katou.
- God, Kei is whiny. The big onion stabbed his buddy good, and now, he's having second thoughts about killing it.
- This is dragging on worse than Dragonball Z.
- Now the chick is whining.
- Whine, Whine, Whine.
- And she's still half naked.
- Goro tells Kei that "The suit feels goooood." And compares wearing the outfit to sex. So far, Goro is the most interesting character in the show.
- Meanwhile, the big onion is standing there, doing nothing.
- Five minutes into episode 4, and the super killer is still alive. Goro and Kei are having a crappy pseudo philosophical debate about death and killing.
- They did all this effort to set up exploding heads and tension. Now, we have two guys... talking. About whether or not they should kill. While the girl looks on. And the hero cries.
- Kei's a pussy.
- Eight minutes in, and the big onion is killed. By Goro, the “bad” guy. That makes him the good guy.
- Now, everyone is crying about going home. Katou, the hero's friend, is apparently d-e-a-d. He wouldn't have been if hero boy wasn't a pussy.
- Heh. The people who are dead blow up.
- Goro calls the chick "Big Tits." See. He's really the hero.
- This is putting me to sleep.
- So, there's this black ball, and it brings people to a room where they chase vegetables and poultry? And gives them weapons? That’s the whole plot?
- Oh, Katou is still alive.
- Katou is crying over the dead gangsters who a) attempted to rape the chick ad b) messed with him and his friend.
I can’t watch this anymore.
Episode 1 gets a D-. It was clichéed and overwrought.
Episode 2 gets an A, because people are chasing vegetables. And I don’t mean Terri Schiavo.
Episode 3 gets an F-, because the Big Onion was a let down. Plus, the main character spent the WHOLE FUCKING episode whining about not beinfg able to kill this Big Onion with long fingernails that killed 70 people and nearly killed his best friend.
Episode 4 gets an F. Only because of Goro. I like him, but not enough to watch the show again.
Maybe the next few episodes will be entertaining. These weren’t. It seemed that the sole purpose of this series is to watch people get cut up. I could do that with Guyver or Fist of the North Star.
I’d enjoy the story more, too.
|Gantz Vol. 2: Kill or Be Killed
|Hiroya Oku, Shueisha, Gantz Partners
Dolby Digital 5.1 Eng./2.0 Jap.
16:9 Anamorphic Widescreen
Run Time: 50 min
Street Date: Mar 8, 2005